Thursday, 1 December 2011

Anxiety and shame

We all act differently when we are anxious and have our own coping mechanisms,  while some become quiet withdrawn, others start eating lots or smoke a ciggy. Anxiety can manifest itself as an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive disorder) and  hoarding falls under this category. When someone is frustrated or angry with life then OCD will be more prevalent. Anger is the common driver of anxiety disorders and boy does my dad have anger issues. I believe it is my dads anger and the fact education and careeers opportunities were denied to him as a growing child led to this.
In Pakistan, the teachers were regularly on strike before exams, he did not have many books.In the West we are blessed to have a free compulsory education and do not have to purchase "course books" until further education. I think my dad is compensating for what he did not have as a child and is so self absorbed an warped into his own feeling  is causing his children more harm than good. He went on numerous college courses but because of the language barrier and personality trait wasn't able to bear the fruits of his achievements- Always blaming someobody else (the blame culture) for his shortcomings i wonder if this is a universal trait of hoarders blaming others for their issues and not taking responsibility. Like many parents their frustration and anger is displaced on actions which are received by other as strange. They may mean well but not go about it the right way.
It is a fact children whose parents have been overbearingly critical are susceptible to depression i was fortunate to read this in my early 20's from a book on depression any guessing where it came from?

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