As I bloggd previously I really find watching this programme useful andam impressed with how they help the participants.
Wednesday 31 July 2013
Monday 29 July 2013
Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners Show
Do you want to be on telly?
Sometimes hoarders have the intention of starting anew and to get rid of their rclutter but as it soon dawns on them it is not just about removing the physical objects,it's also about overcoming psychological obstacles and habits. As I have said in the past, Channel four sensitively deals with this in The Hoarder Next Door as does a the programme Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I admit to watching the latter with fascination here people on the other end of the OCD spectrum-obsessive cleaners are invited to make use of their cleaning habit to clean hoarders or those peoples homes where they have let things slide. The results are usually positive and inspirational and at times a valuable personal insightful journey for both OCD participants.
Sometimes hoarders have the intention of starting anew and to get rid of their rclutter but as it soon dawns on them it is not just about removing the physical objects,it's also about overcoming psychological obstacles and habits. As I have said in the past, Channel four sensitively deals with this in The Hoarder Next Door as does a the programme Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I admit to watching the latter with fascination here people on the other end of the OCD spectrum-obsessive cleaners are invited to make use of their cleaning habit to clean hoarders or those peoples homes where they have let things slide. The results are usually positive and inspirational and at times a valuable personal insightful journey for both OCD participants.
Well anyway if you absolutely want to have your house cleaned and receive some help from a team of psychologists and aftercare then why not participate in the next series. If you have further questions please email me and I shall forward you the details of who you can contact.
betty are making a second series of the hit show
Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners
for Channel 4 and we are looking for people to take part.
This primetime features series see a team of compulsive cleaners teach Britain’s most disorganised people some valuable lessons in housekeeping. Transforming their unkempt environments and creating order where there once was chaos.
Is your home in need of a serious spring clean? Do you avoid housekeeping at all costs?
Perhaps your living room is bursting with junk and clutter and you’re too embarrassed to have people around?
If you are interested in finding out more, please get in touch by calling
02079070892
or email
Saturday 13 July 2013
1p books!
A few weeks ago my dad had a startled revelation. Everyone has heard of people making money from selling on Amazon and Ebay, well my dad thought this would be a good idea, so I typed in details of his books on to Amazon and to his disgust there were many copies of these science books starting at 1p! In fact every single book had a starting value of 1p and there were many copies. Talk about not being worth the paper they are printed on.So it would actually cost more for packaging and seller fees. A lot of books have ended up in my garage : ( such a reluctant dutiful daughter.
We are considering just sending these books to a paper recycling firm which would hopefully pay us.I hear they usually pay by the tonne....I am sure we would have a tonne.
Even if we did get rid of these books the problems lies in my dad continuing to go for his ritual of visiting Sunday carboot sales to find "bargains".
It is a deep psychological addiction for finding bargains and become over attached to them to the point of being selfish and reducing the quality of ones own life and relationship that creates difficulties in hinders us of being a happy family. And that is priceless.
A few weeks ago my dad had a startled revelation. Everyone has heard of people making money from selling on Amazon and Ebay, well my dad thought this would be a good idea, so I typed in details of his books on to Amazon and to his disgust there were many copies of these science books starting at 1p! In fact every single book had a starting value of 1p and there were many copies. Talk about not being worth the paper they are printed on.So it would actually cost more for packaging and seller fees. A lot of books have ended up in my garage : ( such a reluctant dutiful daughter.
We are considering just sending these books to a paper recycling firm which would hopefully pay us.I hear they usually pay by the tonne....I am sure we would have a tonne.
Even if we did get rid of these books the problems lies in my dad continuing to go for his ritual of visiting Sunday carboot sales to find "bargains".
It is a deep psychological addiction for finding bargains and become over attached to them to the point of being selfish and reducing the quality of ones own life and relationship that creates difficulties in hinders us of being a happy family. And that is priceless.
Tuesday 18 June 2013
My dad has decided to fill my garage with his books and the living room with his books.
I need your help especially if you are in the UK.
If you have read my blog you will know my dad's main hoard are books, textbooks and fiction. I honestly believe some of these books don't have much value but would belong in a museum or for a TV programme set in any of the last 50 years. It would be a good use of the books and mean my family can actually sit in one room to eat and relax instead of hiding in our own spaces and break down in communication. My dad cannot work as much now so if this was a source of income he may feel better too.
Any suggestions or help would be appreciated.
I need your help especially if you are in the UK.
If you have read my blog you will know my dad's main hoard are books, textbooks and fiction. I honestly believe some of these books don't have much value but would belong in a museum or for a TV programme set in any of the last 50 years. It would be a good use of the books and mean my family can actually sit in one room to eat and relax instead of hiding in our own spaces and break down in communication. My dad cannot work as much now so if this was a source of income he may feel better too.
Any suggestions or help would be appreciated.
Sunday 21 April 2013
A Hoarder Next Door
The second series is well underway on channel four. Last Monday there was a look at a 41 year old woman obsessed with ladybirds. Have a look:
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-hoarder-next-door/4od
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-hoarder-next-door/4od
Spring Clean is somewhat of a mission impossible when living with a hoarder.
The pleasure of sitting in the garden is like sitting in a dumpyard. And as the days get longer (daylight) and the sun shines brighter the accrued dust seems much more visible- providing the windows are not blocked by stuff. Actually i can't remember the last time my dads bedroom window was cleaned.
Due to my dad's hoarding antics I have gone to the other extreme. My house is minimalist, i mean its so minimalist i refuse to put a lampshade as it will attract dust-did i tell you i have a dust allergy?
Do children of hoarders become extreme cleaners or minimalists. I am not OCD cleanliness but when I am stressed or have to do something difficult I result to cleaning. When I was 18 I ended up using a bleach bottle to clean a 3 seater and one seater cream coloured leather sofa. My anosmia at the time (inability to smell) meant I did not realise how strong it was. I tend to process objects and get rid of them quickly by disposing or donating to charity, I have never had a regret on any item I have got rid of, I feel lighter and don't spend time looking for stuff or thinking "I will use this floppy disk one day so I will hold onto it". I have also realised I don't feel the need to buy so many things as I used to. I don't own a smart phone but a simple sony ericcson- I don't feel the need to get the latest and best clothing or gadgets because I think it takes my time and energy to actually use the object.. I ask myself is it an absolute essential or do I think I need it. Usually I can live without it. Though I may relent to getting a smartphone as my circle of friends are on whatsapp.
The pleasure of sitting in the garden is like sitting in a dumpyard. And as the days get longer (daylight) and the sun shines brighter the accrued dust seems much more visible- providing the windows are not blocked by stuff. Actually i can't remember the last time my dads bedroom window was cleaned.
Due to my dad's hoarding antics I have gone to the other extreme. My house is minimalist, i mean its so minimalist i refuse to put a lampshade as it will attract dust-did i tell you i have a dust allergy?
Do children of hoarders become extreme cleaners or minimalists. I am not OCD cleanliness but when I am stressed or have to do something difficult I result to cleaning. When I was 18 I ended up using a bleach bottle to clean a 3 seater and one seater cream coloured leather sofa. My anosmia at the time (inability to smell) meant I did not realise how strong it was. I tend to process objects and get rid of them quickly by disposing or donating to charity, I have never had a regret on any item I have got rid of, I feel lighter and don't spend time looking for stuff or thinking "I will use this floppy disk one day so I will hold onto it". I have also realised I don't feel the need to buy so many things as I used to. I don't own a smart phone but a simple sony ericcson- I don't feel the need to get the latest and best clothing or gadgets because I think it takes my time and energy to actually use the object.. I ask myself is it an absolute essential or do I think I need it. Usually I can live without it. Though I may relent to getting a smartphone as my circle of friends are on whatsapp.
Tuesday 26 February 2013
Just get it done
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it."
I would add one needs needs the right frame of mind for this. Maybe the hoarder is afraid of what would happen if the belongings were kept away. Would they feel empty?insecure?angry?
Often the hoarder will not want to change the rut they are in but pour out it with negative thought. Rather than become individuals who have no control a strange way they are in control of their clutter.Based on my observations of hoarders in some strange, way they feel power by having these belongings. Take my dad- constantly criticising others and picking faults- a sign of an insecurity. Despite myself being a lecturer, being forced to allow my unemployed brother to stay with me, paying bills, sorting the paperwork for my house and my dads- my dad chooses to pick on my U grade at A level in one subject all those years ago. In his eyes he only sees the weaknesess and hardly the strengths. Never mind I have been seriously ill to get this far, I have worked so hard in life it has almost killed me. I am told I am ungrateful if my dad finds an outdated textbook. If we dare to say anything he accuses of being critical but its ok to be critical in the patriarchal culture of my dad. I have had be hardfaced with my dad and not bat a lid at his hoarding and hostile behaviour.
Other traits I have noticed in horaders is not taking responsibility, not trusting others, paranoid and suffering from BSE epidemic (Blame somebody else).
Recently my dad has starting getting almost new furniture and placing it in whatever random place he can find resulting in mismatched furniture and looking like something that has been put together from the remains of a car boot sale. Ultimately looking cheap and unclean.
I would add one needs needs the right frame of mind for this. Maybe the hoarder is afraid of what would happen if the belongings were kept away. Would they feel empty?insecure?angry?
Often the hoarder will not want to change the rut they are in but pour out it with negative thought. Rather than become individuals who have no control a strange way they are in control of their clutter.Based on my observations of hoarders in some strange, way they feel power by having these belongings. Take my dad- constantly criticising others and picking faults- a sign of an insecurity. Despite myself being a lecturer, being forced to allow my unemployed brother to stay with me, paying bills, sorting the paperwork for my house and my dads- my dad chooses to pick on my U grade at A level in one subject all those years ago. In his eyes he only sees the weaknesess and hardly the strengths. Never mind I have been seriously ill to get this far, I have worked so hard in life it has almost killed me. I am told I am ungrateful if my dad finds an outdated textbook. If we dare to say anything he accuses of being critical but its ok to be critical in the patriarchal culture of my dad. I have had be hardfaced with my dad and not bat a lid at his hoarding and hostile behaviour.
Other traits I have noticed in horaders is not taking responsibility, not trusting others, paranoid and suffering from BSE epidemic (Blame somebody else).
Recently my dad has starting getting almost new furniture and placing it in whatever random place he can find resulting in mismatched furniture and looking like something that has been put together from the remains of a car boot sale. Ultimately looking cheap and unclean.
Tuesday 19 February 2013
Three years on...
Despite starting this blog over three years ago and moving out of the hoarder home it still has a deep impact on our relationship and health. There have been some solutions and at times it seems my dad is regressing.
Every January I take stock and review the hoarding related new year resolution:
look back and reflect, take stock, make plans and ACTION!
2012- resolution and review
2013- resolutions and review
1.BE more organised with storing MY belongings- it sets an example- 2012 RESOLUTION number1- c.
I actually take little control and it shows. I have had to move again and need to buy a wardrobe to keep my stuff
2.REFUSE TO BUY BOOKS-borrow from library! I barely had time to read this year so this is an easy one to stick to but i what will do is review every 3 months what books/leaflets i don't need. I will buy second hand books.
I did not buy any books this year! Not had the time. This is one resolution I stuck to. My dad has some interesting autobiographies.
3.Continue to persuade to dad to get rid of useless books-who needs a book on idioms from 1956 or "A dummies guide to Windows 95"-nobody wants them! apart from a computer book antique collector? (if one exists) Getting there- need to think of more tactful ways of helping dad.
Dad has been very moody and it has been like walking on eggshell around him.
4.Continue to state how the book collection is causing extra dust mites- This year dad started shifting his books to the living room and so this is really impacting on everyone. FIND frightening articles to share with my dad.
This will have no impact on my dad.
5.What junk does not belong to mine should not be in my room-however small or large. ACHIEVED!!SO i will change this to if make sure i don't become a hoarder- if i have not used something in the last 12 months get RID of it.
In my new place my mum has found place to dump clothes :( Going have to be tough and delegate
6.Sell/donate any of my junk and encourage others ACHIEVED. CONTINUE with this
Donated somethings
7.Write every month ANY ACTION taken and RESULTS achieved . NOPE i think every 3 months is more reasonable but more regularly on blog
I have not. I don't like having bits of paper. I think I will put it on my telephone calendar
8. ALL goals to be SMART specific,measurable,....
This is obvious. I can be specific by aiming to sell a certain amount on EBAY at regular intervals.
A new one for 2013 is to somehow get my dad to see a doctor or get cognitive behaviour therapy. I know my mum says he will use it as an excuse not to go to work and claim to be ill. By sitting at home it will encourage him to hoard more. He was depressed 20 odd years ago maybe he still is.
I think I am having a glimmer of hoarding tendencies, I tend to collect a lot of notebooks and not like to "spoil them with my handwriting"
I have to accept I cannot change people NO MATTER how good my intentions. To end on a quote
Enough words have been exchanged;
now at last let me see some deeds! (Goethe, Faust I)
Every January I take stock and review the hoarding related new year resolution:
look back and reflect, take stock, make plans and ACTION!
2012- resolution and review
2013- resolutions and review
1.BE more organised with storing MY belongings- it sets an example- 2012 RESOLUTION number1- c.
I actually take little control and it shows. I have had to move again and need to buy a wardrobe to keep my stuff
2.REFUSE TO BUY BOOKS-borrow from library! I barely had time to read this year so this is an easy one to stick to but i what will do is review every 3 months what books/leaflets i don't need. I will buy second hand books.
I did not buy any books this year! Not had the time. This is one resolution I stuck to. My dad has some interesting autobiographies.
3.Continue to persuade to dad to get rid of useless books-who needs a book on idioms from 1956 or "A dummies guide to Windows 95"-nobody wants them! apart from a computer book antique collector? (if one exists) Getting there- need to think of more tactful ways of helping dad.
Dad has been very moody and it has been like walking on eggshell around him.
4.Continue to state how the book collection is causing extra dust mites- This year dad started shifting his books to the living room and so this is really impacting on everyone. FIND frightening articles to share with my dad.
This will have no impact on my dad.
5.What junk does not belong to mine should not be in my room-however small or large. ACHIEVED!!SO i will change this to if make sure i don't become a hoarder- if i have not used something in the last 12 months get RID of it.
In my new place my mum has found place to dump clothes :( Going have to be tough and delegate
6.Sell/donate any of my junk and encourage others ACHIEVED. CONTINUE with this
Donated somethings
7.Write every month ANY ACTION taken and RESULTS achieved . NOPE i think every 3 months is more reasonable but more regularly on blog
I have not. I don't like having bits of paper. I think I will put it on my telephone calendar
8. ALL goals to be SMART specific,measurable,....
This is obvious. I can be specific by aiming to sell a certain amount on EBAY at regular intervals.
A new one for 2013 is to somehow get my dad to see a doctor or get cognitive behaviour therapy. I know my mum says he will use it as an excuse not to go to work and claim to be ill. By sitting at home it will encourage him to hoard more. He was depressed 20 odd years ago maybe he still is.
I think I am having a glimmer of hoarding tendencies, I tend to collect a lot of notebooks and not like to "spoil them with my handwriting"
I have to accept I cannot change people NO MATTER how good my intentions. To end on a quote
Enough words have been exchanged;
now at last let me see some deeds! (Goethe, Faust I)
Saturday 16 February 2013
Clingy books
I found a compromise of cleaning my parents living room without the hoarder panicking. Whilst abroad we neatly stacked his books (according to size-his logic) into cardboard boxes. Photographed them (so no accusations of theft/loss/misplacement) and then wrapped them tightly in cling film so that they can be placed in the garage. Thus preventing them from rotting.
He got a bit of a surprise when he got back. He was not too happy with us doing the same with his tools (never uses them).
He got a bit of a surprise when he got back. He was not too happy with us doing the same with his tools (never uses them).
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