So i am going to review the goals set then
the blue and purple fonts are from previous years
Despite starting this blog over three years ago and moving out of the hoarder home it still has a deep impact on our relationship and health. There have been some solutions and at times it seems my dad is regressing.
Every January I take stock and review the hoarding related new year resolution:
look back and reflect, take stock, make plans and ACTION!
2012- resolution and review
2013- resolutions and review
2015- review in August
1.BE more organised with storing MY belongings- it sets an example- 2012 RESOLUTION number 1.
I actually take little control and it shows. I have had to move again and need to buy a wardrobe to keep my stuff
Does stacking folders in a corner count? I tend to have "a home" for most things: books in correct places bills in folders etc.
2.REFUSE TO BUY BOOKS-borrow from library! I barely had time to read this year so this is an easy one to stick to but i what will do is review every 3 months what books/leaflets i don't need. I will buy second hand books.
I did not buy any books this year! Not had the time. This is one resolution I stuck to. My dad has some interesting autobiographies.
This is so easy- i don't have time for fiction and any new cooking recipes i get from magazines, newspapers and online.
3.Continue to persuade to dad to get rid of useless books-who needs a book on idioms from 1956 or "A dummies guide to Windows 95"-nobody wants them! apart from a computer book antique collector? (if one exists) Getting there- need to think of more tactful ways of helping dad.
Dad has been very moody and it has been like walking on eggshell around him.
Cannot persuade dad to donate to charity shop; he just cannot part from them.
4.Continue to state how the book collection is causing extra dust mites- This year dad started shifting his books to the living room and so this is really impacting on everyone. FIND frightening articles to share with my dad.
This will have no impact on my dad.
I give it up on this; my dad would have made a fine barrister with his argumentative skills and bully boy persona.
5.What junk does not belong to mine should not be in my room-however small or large. ACHIEVED!!SO i will change this to if make sure i don't become a hoarder- if i have not used something in the last 12 months get RID of it.
In my new place my mum has found place to dump clothes :( Going have to be tough and delegate
This is achieved!
6.Sell/donate any of my junk and encourage others ACHIEVED. CONTINUE with this
Donated somethings
This is in progress I donate clothes to charity and sell things i don't need on EBAY (first 20 are free) with packaging purchased from a pound shop so i may not be making a profit but not loosing much either.
7.Write every month ANY ACTION taken and RESULTS achieved . NOPE i think every 3 months is more reasonable but more regularly on blog
I have not. I don't like having bits of paper. I think I will put it on my telephone calendar
I cannot set goals for my dad; in order to make a change he has to want it to happen. Weak intentions yield weak results (no idea who said that)
8. ALL goals to be SMART specific,measurable,....
This is obvious. I can be specific by aiming to sell a certain amount on EBAY at regular intervals.
A new one for 2013 is to somehow get my dad to see a doctor or get cognitive behaviour therapy. I know my mum says he will use it as an excuse not to go to work and claim to be ill. By sitting at home it will encourage him to hoard more.
This is in progress and a very sensitive discussion point as there is a stigma attached to seeing a a doctor about mental health issues.
As i mature and grow and learn about being effective with my time and productivity as well as honing my communication skills i shall be thinking of a strategy to persuade my dad to get help and signpost him in the right direction.
the blue and purple fonts are from previous years
Despite starting this blog over three years ago and moving out of the hoarder home it still has a deep impact on our relationship and health. There have been some solutions and at times it seems my dad is regressing.
Every January I take stock and review the hoarding related new year resolution:
look back and reflect, take stock, make plans and ACTION!
2012- resolution and review
2013- resolutions and review
2015- review in August
1.BE more organised with storing MY belongings- it sets an example- 2012 RESOLUTION number 1.
I actually take little control and it shows. I have had to move again and need to buy a wardrobe to keep my stuff
Does stacking folders in a corner count? I tend to have "a home" for most things: books in correct places bills in folders etc.
2.REFUSE TO BUY BOOKS-borrow from library! I barely had time to read this year so this is an easy one to stick to but i what will do is review every 3 months what books/leaflets i don't need. I will buy second hand books.
I did not buy any books this year! Not had the time. This is one resolution I stuck to. My dad has some interesting autobiographies.
This is so easy- i don't have time for fiction and any new cooking recipes i get from magazines, newspapers and online.
3.Continue to persuade to dad to get rid of useless books-who needs a book on idioms from 1956 or "A dummies guide to Windows 95"-nobody wants them! apart from a computer book antique collector? (if one exists) Getting there- need to think of more tactful ways of helping dad.
Dad has been very moody and it has been like walking on eggshell around him.
Cannot persuade dad to donate to charity shop; he just cannot part from them.
4.Continue to state how the book collection is causing extra dust mites- This year dad started shifting his books to the living room and so this is really impacting on everyone. FIND frightening articles to share with my dad.
This will have no impact on my dad.
I give it up on this; my dad would have made a fine barrister with his argumentative skills and bully boy persona.
5.What junk does not belong to mine should not be in my room-however small or large. ACHIEVED!!SO i will change this to if make sure i don't become a hoarder- if i have not used something in the last 12 months get RID of it.
In my new place my mum has found place to dump clothes :( Going have to be tough and delegate
This is achieved!
6.Sell/donate any of my junk and encourage others ACHIEVED. CONTINUE with this
Donated somethings
This is in progress I donate clothes to charity and sell things i don't need on EBAY (first 20 are free) with packaging purchased from a pound shop so i may not be making a profit but not loosing much either.
7.Write every month ANY ACTION taken and RESULTS achieved . NOPE i think every 3 months is more reasonable but more regularly on blog
I have not. I don't like having bits of paper. I think I will put it on my telephone calendar
I cannot set goals for my dad; in order to make a change he has to want it to happen. Weak intentions yield weak results (no idea who said that)
8. ALL goals to be SMART specific,measurable,....
This is obvious. I can be specific by aiming to sell a certain amount on EBAY at regular intervals.
A new one for 2013 is to somehow get my dad to see a doctor or get cognitive behaviour therapy. I know my mum says he will use it as an excuse not to go to work and claim to be ill. By sitting at home it will encourage him to hoard more.
This is in progress and a very sensitive discussion point as there is a stigma attached to seeing a a doctor about mental health issues.
As i mature and grow and learn about being effective with my time and productivity as well as honing my communication skills i shall be thinking of a strategy to persuade my dad to get help and signpost him in the right direction.
it seems like you're really successful with goals that are about your own behavior, and not with goals that are about influencing your dad. I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for controlling the things you can actually control and don't beat yourself up too much about the ones you can't.
ReplyDeleteThanks for you comment, yes I realised in my late twenties that I cannot control external factors beyond my control. I wrote those goals because I was anxious of becoming a hoarder like my dad. Thanks for the supportive message.
ReplyDelete