i think i am a subconscious hoarder

Have your ever bought something only to realise you already have it at home and forgot about it  (probably because it is stored away both phyically and mentally). Sometimes I think i have hoarding tendencies and at times start analysing my own hoarding habits. Here a list of things in no particular order I feel I collect and may classify me a hoarder albeit a low level hoarder:
1. Bookmarking favourite websites and then taking ages to sort them out, i have lost count of websites i add which i intended to visit back : this could article to read or items to purchase.
2. Fancy notebooks which I imagine should be adorned with wise words and neat handwriting not by my amateur fiction attempts with handwriting that could be described as split personality; sometimes cursive and Italic and at others erratic slanting in all sorts of directions loops and and big round letters.
3.Body lotion gift sets- i get given these often as presents and i buy them as presents, thing is i don't get through them quick enough.
4. Old jumpers/cardigans and clothes with bleach marks- i find it difficult to dispose of these and even kept my sisters.  Clothes which have become ruined by me being enthusiastic with household bleach; this usually ends up discolouring my fae clothes which i end up wearing around the house.
5. Birthday cards, sorry your leaving and  seasonal greeting cards from when i was a child- does anybody else feel guilty about binning cards like these. They bring memories but eventually take space,
6.Cut our recipes from newspapers. I am just going to take a picture on my phone and save.
 Magazines: I have a hard time disposing of magazines because i think they may come in handy which is why i don't buy them anymore.
7.Glass jars and containers: i collect these in case i will make that candle or moisturiser one day- never happens.
8. I noticed i was buying wool but not actually knitting or crocheting anything because i am afraid to make a mistake or spend time on something which won't look right. I once took so long to crochet a pair of baby booties that it did not fit the newborn baby (embarrassing).
9. My school work from over 14 years ago: i have disposed of most but cannot part with my French and German books even though i don't use these languages at all. My A level work i cannot part as i am now teaching the subjects and it makes interesting comparisons. I also can't part with polypockets and folders as i usually need these at some point in my work.
10. Skincare products- i hate having lots of  cosmetic products but when my skin is not behaving i start purchasing a lot and then don't consistently use them which then makes me guilty for getting it in the first place, an exmapel would be almond oil which is not adequately moisturise my skin but i purchased two bottles... hmm maybe i can concoct my own moisturiser from it...

Are there any children of hoarders (COH) out there who feel they are gravitating towards hoarding?
I would love to hear your stories in the comments below.

HELP FOR HOARDERS RESOURCES

When I started writing this blog in 2009 there was little support available online and not much media coverage on hoarding. It was a way for me to express myself and share solutions; I did not expect to people commenting on their personal experience.

It is reassuring to see so many useful support and resources online so rather than me praise them click on the hoarders links at the bottom of this page or go straight to NHS for a better introductory understanding and bookmark the  help for hoarders website: highly recommended.

"Greedy"

Nephew is at an age where he is learning to repeat words and one of those is greedy especially when it comes to consuming chocolate.
Which led me to the next point are hoarders greedy?
Are they so self absorbed in their material possessions that they would choose them over their loved ones...is it because they can't help it the same way an alcoholic can't help having one more drink? Would they keep their possessions even if they posed a health hazard? What if their family was physically hurt?

Judging from TV programmes most hoarders have had a trauma of some sort which is a trigger. There are many reasons for why they hoard but they are not evil or selfish even though on the surface to  close relatives it may seem that way. One suggestion for their reasoning is because it give them false reassurance and contentment (temporarily) although at the expense of having a good quality of life.
If somebody has a physical disability or is diagnosed with autism we are likely to be more sympathetic or patient at "getting better" as these issues get much more attention in the media
Hoarding is a manifestation of mental health issue; it is misunderstood and people are unsympathetic.
For relatives it is stressful living with it and a social embarrassment. It is the cause of arguments, resentment and affects quality family time because you can't even be in the same room to sit down and discuss how it makes you feelin the first place.

The hoarders favourite mantra's

Common phrases heard from hoarders:
1. Don't throw it away!!
2. It's a bargain! People are so stupid
3. It might come in handy... you just don't know!
4. It's worth a lot of money (Answer: no it isn't there are pound shops...99p shops in 2015)
5. It's quality!
6. I need it (Answer: When was the last time you used it)

And common replies of a hoarder when challenged:
1. Shut up! *$£!^%$!!
2. Get out!
3. I paid for it!
4. It's not a mess it's in order (a pile)
5. I'm looking after it
6. Mind your own business...I'm your dad!

And these are usually shouted out followed by expletives. Sound familiar?

 

It's been a long time since I blogged on here as I have been busy and to be honest it has got to the point where I avoid going to the "Hoarder home" though it still impacts on my living which is to be discussed in future posts. Summer for many is a time to visit family and friends and relaxing. How many hoarders this summer will be able to actually find somewhere to sit in their house? (thankfully my dad does have that space available). How many hoarders will be able to actually sit in their clutter free garden? Will there be out of date food lying about in the fridge?

I hope to write more regularly this summer: part of it will be sharing experiences and hopefully provide a springboard of helpful tips for the online community of people living with hoarders.

Enjoy the summer Sun because  that's something you can't hoard and keep into winter (unless you are a solar panel though you could be soaking in vitamin D3- sorry the attempted writer and geek in me there).

Who has been to the doctors about their hoarder relative?

A few years ago my mother reassured us that dad would stop hoarding once we put all his books in the garage of our home  (not his). 2 deaths, one wedding and 2 grandchildren later the living room has spiralled into jenga again but with more unusual objects (and yes the garage is full). My dad has discovered gum tree and got his hand on a uni cycle and last week got another from a charity shop. 

Where the hell is he going to use it ? His garden and house is unsafe, that leaves the public road.
I am thankful for the rain because it means the Sunday car boot sales no longer run but I am worried that now my dad is getting to grips with technology a lot of his hoard will be delivered by courtesy of Royal Mail. I have pretended to not know how Ebay works to discourage my dad form using it.

I'm thinking now is a good time to book him for a GP appointment and hopefully get a referral for CBT counselling. He has given up on work (self employed) anyway. How does one broach the subject to a hoarder about seeing a doctor and how have GP's in the UK responded? A
If I make an appointment about my concerns for my dad what can my GP do?
Any advice would be appreciated.

For the sake of the children?

I have not blogged on here for a while but i have a lot to say today,There have been changes in our family which has actually given our dad an opportunity to strenghen his hoarding habit from worse to dire.  Becoming a granddad or having to borrows some other persons  house for a funeral would motivate a normal and considerate soul to make their home civilised so that people can sit. Any smidegen of a dialogue about the problems a clutter house is met with angry rhetorics about other issues.
Since 2009 we restored the living room to a normal room and twice he has filled it with belongings mostly form carboot sales. This has gone from books to garden and DIY tools and gym equipment. Even random bikes and scooter,

Family deaths and births have not motivated him to take actions. He complains often about the house being dirty but does not acknowledge it is not my mums job to spend 3 hours to move objects so she can vacuum them. I am worried that when my dads grand children come to the house they will be hurt and of course he would acknowledge it is bot his fault (do other hoarders play the blame somebody else game?). Heck at one point there was a treadmill right next to the door with a 3cm gap to get into the room (Health and safety) and what with me being clumsy and visually impairedI nearly fell, my dad told me to look where I was going and not to break his machine! yes teh machine not me. I wish I could have filmed  it and shown him how irrational he has become.... and he says I have no common sense.

Since I  moved out in 2011 I have had no respiratory problems in fact I don't have asthma anymore!
My dad gets a lot of sneezing fits and will never attribute this to his excess belongings. My nephews toys will not be able to fit in his garage of his dad's giyse because granddad has filled it with his useless junk which will decay and cause more problems and waste others time.