Divine inspiration

Whether you believe in God or not i'd like to share a verse from the Qur'an with you:
"Verily Allah does not change a peoples condition until they change what is in themselves"

People whinge some say its a British thing to moan about everything from the weather, the cost of living, space and the list is endless. But i reckon it is a human condition. What i like about the about the above verse is the implication you yourself have to take the action by start from looking deep inside yourself and try changing that first. For example you're always angry so you look at what makes you angry and think is it really worth your energy? Solution: Anger management strategies and patience as a developing characteristic. I could write about what Islam says about controlling anger but that would be another post. Now i'm not a religous scholar so i don't know in what context this verse is written but i often remember these words when i am in whinge mode. In terms of my dads hoarding in particular the books, i tell myself to just endure it, a little bit of dust might irritate my nose and lungs but it's not going to kill me for now. I actually don't bother cleaning my dads bookcase on the landing in the hope it might prompt him to get rid of them it didn't work but at least i've stopped imposing responsibilites on myself.
I guess if my dad really wants to get rid of the excessive material belonging that hinder our everyday living space (especially when it inconvenieces him) then he should try to find out why, and once that 's clearly established start taking action.

Happy New Year!

It's been just over a year since i started this blog as a rant....but did i get anything out of it?  Know is the time to look back and reflect.
Well  i didn't write regularly but i have perfectly valid excuse-lack of internet connection.
I've had quite a bad flu and then my laptop lasts about 10 minutes where it gets hotter than my oil filled radiator and switches off. Even though kind brother has a laptop my dad the resident hoarder started hogging the laptop over the holiday period.

The hoarding has got worse. My dad even got me to buy a book about gliding of Amazon- he has been going through an obsession about gliding as his childhood dream was to be a pilot! My dad went through a camping phase and bough lots of sleeping bags simply becasue they were going cheap. One permanently lives at the top of the stairs-*HEALTH HAZARD*!!
I didn't share any pics did I? Honestly its my family home and i guess putting up pics of the hoarding crimes will be infringing others privacy.
The BBQ boxed set is still being used as dressing table.
Before making this years new resolutions why don't we look at last years below:

1.BE more organised with storing MY belongings- it sets an example-ACHIEVED- BOXES AND BAGS!

2.REFUSE TO BUY BOOKS-borrow from library! ERM I BROUGHT ONLY THREE-ONE WAS WRITTEN BY MY FRIEND.

3.continue to persuade to dad to get rid of useless books-who needs a book on idioms from 1956 or "A dummies guide to Windows 95"-nobody wants them! apart from a computer book antique collector? (if one exists) FAILED-"get out my house" was the usual response


4.Continue to state how the book collection is causing extra dust mites- which is bad for my health. :(
FAILED, what happened when little brother had a nose operation and needed a clean space- dad left the books in his room and even went and bought some more.

5.what junk does not belong to mine should not be in my room-however small or large. ACHIEVED!!

6.sell/donate any of my junk and encourage others ACHIEVED

7.write every month ANY ACTION taken and RESULTS achieved . NOPE

8.Write on this blog! NOT AS REGULARLY I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO

Now i think thats an achieveable set of resolutions don't you? I GOT 3 OUT OF 7 MY MATHS AIN'T GREAT BUT THAT'S NEARLY A HALF. The glass is half empty or half full depending on my mood.

why?

Obsessive compulsive disorders OCD become more prevalent as one gets anxious as a result of changes in life-and compulsive hoarding is no different. The past few months my dad has been collecting tools even though he does not do DIY.He already had a pile of toolboxes in the kitchen (no room left in the bedroom and they rus in the shed).
What's really been bugging me is Why? Why do certain people become like this, what emotional triggers are there.To find a cure or to be realistic, a way of managing it one has to look at the cause-Looking at childhood experiences.
My theories/explanation based on my own observation is that compulsive hoarding is a consequence of missing something in childhood- a parent or material objects, maybe become homeless or displaced, a way of creating some kind of control on one aspect of one's life,an inability to express feelings in words or physical action, an emotional sentimental attachement to objects, temporary joy, a burglary or betrayal,escaping making real relationships. My dad dreads throwing away something as it just might come in handy.9 out of 10 times it won't or he will not be able to find it.Are there any particular traits common to OCD hoarders?I am certain that there must be some common characteristics in hoarders. How common is it?
Just as autism was little understood a decade ago and known as a spectrum of disorders.

As ever being a curious person I'm hoping further research would go into helping people overcome hoarding.

Apologies have been extremely busy with work. A lot has happened since my last post. Firstly the hoarder is out of the house and out of the country! well temporary  and not on happy terms-attending a funeral. Meanwhile here we have sent as much junk as possible to the recent metal shed in the garden. That gives some space but still you can tell i'm living iwth a hoarder.
 It's very tempting to get rid of the previously mentiond boxed deluxe green bbq set from my room but i know dad will have a barmy. As a rule living with hoarders you should never gid rid of thier stuff without their permission according to hoarders-it makes them insecure and want to accrue more material objects. I politely asked to get rid of the BBQ and got an argument in return.It's true if i don't like it i should move. I am that generation of kids who have graduated and shamelessly still live with parents and siblings but i do my bit clean (but not cook) pay utilities (until a few months ago) and not to mention ironing!
Anyway the next few weeks i hope to do justice to this blog.

BREAKTHROUGH:10 books down 100 or so to go!

OMG newsflash: Dad got rid of 10 books and they were quickly dispatched to the local charity shop before he changed his mind! This momentous occasion took place yesterday 04/06/2010

So what made the most stubborn person ever known in my world to take this small step.Most hoarders are in the habit due to anxiety and if you tell them what  to do they get very are very defensive and in my dads case argumentative even when there is no logic behind their reasoning.
Without divulging too much into the conversation that lead to this momentous occasion of operation "declutter house" let me point out that my dad's clutter of books began appoximately 30 years ago.He believes he has hayfever and so will take a antihistamine tablet when ploughing (not reading) through his "library" as this always ends in a sneezathon.With extremely high pollen count in the last few days i have been a right state-gritty blodshot eyes and sandpaper throat,this was the catalyst needed to get some perspective. Converation with my west midlands accent and

me: So dad howz your hayfever these dayz?
DAD: ok nothing wrong.
me:hmm the pollen count is reaaaalllly high, maybe its your books that causes the sneezing.
(quiet long pause) look at my face
i then calmly suggested that the books caused a lot of dustmites and were affecting his and everyone else's health. Instantly he got defensive and said  and so follows the gist of uour conversation:

• Stating not suggesting throwing all the books away just the ones that were not used by anyone and dated for example a book entitled "bed and breakfasts in Ireland 1996",
•  how you have to lose some old things to make room for new,
• explained how half the information is available on the internet. To which he replied internet takes up electricity books don't (secretly i though they consume trees).
• stressed was not arguing just making it easier for everyone.
• Even sharing the story of a pile of books falling down the stairs in the middle of the night and having to wake up and put them back.
• A lot of books are sold cheap i even saw a store with £1 books
• Would not make a profit from selling books on the web especially if not selling for much and then various fees and time consuming.
• he suggests a car boot i explain you probably wouldn't even make 20p and that soem of the books shoudl be in a museum. :
• Suggest giving books to charity shop a good deed
• Stated ho even colleges and universities send thick textbooks to refuse/ecycle -seen with my own eyes.
• He said he had seen lecturers/professors sell books at car boot sales, yes they sell them because even they are rejecting those outdated books!
• I pointed out how he used to say English and Histoy were useless for jobs so asked why on earth was he keeping poetry books -in English (as it's not his first language and doesn't get it)

Have mentioned all these points before just not in one go. As i was making my point i was showingthe  books that were useless e.g widnows 95.but without being too critical. Anyway i went downstairs and left him to it. He had amassed 10 books in half an hourr which he was sure he did not need. Sent them packing to the chairty shop and he had already got some more to get rid of. bed and breakfasts in Ireland 1996" was sent-hope to go Ireland some day windows 95 did not budge.Still progress on a hot summers day...even if he did start sneezing.

social phobia=clutterphile

Hoard to the point the clutter has no sentimental value The following link has identified men who have a social phobia as those most likely to hoard. When it comes to women, those who hoard have a bipolar or eating disorder. This is interesting...eating disorders in young women are usually (but not always) about have some control of their life
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17339096

buying love

Been very busy lately but i have been researching scientific papers. There seems to be more research carried out in the US than anywhere else. Some traits were identified his people who were hoarders. I hope to write an article (or two) summarising the findings. Though whether the characteristics of hoarders can be used as diagnostic tools globally as yet to be explored.